Archive for the ‘THOTS’ Category


Posted: June 21, 2013 in THOTS

Often times, those you think are your friends prove to be little more than another set of claws digging into the tender flesh of your back as they catch their parasitic ride. I didn’t leave behind a mountain of shit for you to wade through, and yet I find you piling it on all by yourself without my even being present. Your TRESPASSES were not unnoticed, nor forgotten. You play so well the role of victim while you expertly fleece and task those around you. Your verbal defecation is intense and endless, and left me bewildered with the amount of stress it’s lack of an end created. And yet when I walked away from the crumbling façade you called domestic haven, I foolishly thought us still friends. But words have a way of laying waste to foundations that took years to make, and with a simple, Judas slice you severed the cord. Upon your plush throne, there are no real monsters, and thus you create them in your infinite boredom. You bark orders to those who would gladly strike as soon as serve your insane, pointless demands. It amazes me that you’ve not been smothered in your sleep by your own, enraged, pushed-over-the-edge offspring. Or, failing them, your browbeaten, harried man-wife.  A word of advice, fat sheep, I wouldn’t offer your tender flanks up so readily to wolf beside me, I promise you he has no interest in your fat laden chops. I, on the other hand, feel my teeth tear through my lips in anticipation of a disgusting raw dinner of stupid enemy. I don’t fear the wolf leaving my side, no, I know better. I’m merely tired of having to clean up the piles of vomit your bending over in front of him constantly kept causing. Another word of advice, don’t bare your wrists to hungry predators and beg them to bite. Those who want to be in world of shit with same level of desire a beast should save for its lover WILL be rewarded with their aching desire in MASSIVE response, it only takes a minute or two…Wait ‘till it…KICKS, BITCH. There are two sides in my world, and the two-faced, behind the back talking, drama stirring, condescending, blissfully ignorant will always ride the side of Enemy. A pity, I liked you before I really got to know you.



Posted: April 6, 2012 in THOTS

Sometimes in life, the path we think is of our own making is really a bad detour leading us into hell. Sometimes, it’s a dead end. And sometimes, it’s the right path. Sadly, you’re more likely to find the dead end or bad detour than you are the right road. Once in a rare while, a person will see their path with crystal clarity, and know they’re finally going in the right direction. When that happens, the world glows with the certainty of it.

It becomes so blindingly obvious that you feel like an idiot for not noticing it sooner. Every little thing is brilliantly significant and unique, and it almost makes a persons eyes hurt. So foreign, to find a path that fits my feet so easily, so perfectly. I have not felt this sure of my footing in almost a decade, if ever, and yet in my mind there is no question. I look up to the sky, and silently thank the universe for being so kind as to bash this information over my head as if I was stupid (which, let’s face it, in some ways I can be.)

I should be in terror, but I’m not. I should be cautious, and wary, but those emotions have left my grasp in this particular journey. They tell me in no uncertain terms that they’re not needed here. No longer do I wonder what the road looks like, nor where it will take me. I’ve never had more solid ground, or better scenery. This path just fits me so well, it’s as if I custom designed it. Then I remember that I did…In my dreams, but I couldn’t see what it looked like until my feet found the path by accident, or perhaps, design…

~Dedicated to “Twitch”~

An Adventure…

Posted: March 10, 2012 in THOTS

I’ve got a massive black beast I call the Chief. Ok, he’s not that massive, but he’s like my consort, my partner in crime. His door is broken (The Chief is a Jeep,) and the other night I got to have the grand adventure of bringing him home with a door that wouldn’t shut. I have an unusual condition that causes my tendons to be loose, which is a good thing, ‘cause when he jerked at my arm, my shoulder slid right back into place.

The wind was cold, and mercifully not fierce while I took my old friend home. I even got so bold as to try to use my jumper cables to tie the door shut, which held, but not enough to keep from doing a bit of damage. Today I have knots running down into my spine, and from the front, into my left breast. It was worth it all. I forgot how exhilarating it is to ride with him. We bounce all over the place, and he protests, needing some love I don’t know how to give him yet, but we make it home.

He safely hauled myself, and almost all of my gear, despite being in bad shape. He did his job above and beyond, even though he was hesitant to start. Now he’s where he belongs, up in the mountains, amongst the bears and trees. Like his long haired mistress, we just fit up here in the frigid wild. I can see a small pond from my balcony, and I’ve fished it and others here. I like my sanctuary, something I used to think of as exile, but now?? Now it’s just what I need. I gather about me the things I can to help me move on, and begin this new, dangerous trek.

But I’m not doing it for me. I’m doing it for the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. He’s only about 2+ feet tall, and 24 pounds, but he makes me want to leave him something he can be proud of. I want to teach him to fish, rather than just give him his fish. Now I have a pond less than 5 feet from our yard in which to do it. I’ll need a refresher course, it’s been a long time. But it’s not all lost, mostly just the tricky knots. This is for you, Kelly Logan. Your crazy metal mommy loves you!